Thundersnow

I fully expect this post to blow your mind. It begins at my office on Monday morning when the girls start exclaiming, "The storm has begun."

Me? I had no idea we were in need of a storm. Actually I was planning this whole clean-the-house-before-picking-up-skip thing. And no where in there do you read snow or storm. A couple hours later when my home visit canceled I just knew I would accomplish the cleaning thing and be in the clear. Oh wait. Did I mention that the storm was supposed to get worse and lock down loomed? I didn't because I didn't believe it. I went home, took a nap, cleaned a little, talked to Skip (whose flight was delayed a bit) and finally he convinced me to prepare for the storm.

Whoops. Everyone had cleaned out the basics. No bread, no milk, no OJ, no bananas, no potatoes, no anything unless you're a big fan of taco flavored Doritos. Those they had. So I bought some Capt'n Crunch and called it good. Then I went home, switched cars so I'd have 4-wheel capabilities and took off to the airport.

I forgot my written directions and managed to miss a turn and drive by the little airport. After a couple off-road illegal turns (one in front of a cop) I corrected my error and made it to the boy. The boy whose luggage had missed the flight. What do you do in an empty snowstorm airport when your luggage disappeared? I'm not sure but your wife sits in the car counting the inches of snow on the windshield.

Fine, it wasn't that bad yet, but I don't see well at night so it appeared to be much worse. We made it home, somehow. I have yet to take the same route anywhere here. And we laughed at the "storm". Then the morning came and we laughed some more. Two hours later we started to wonder. And then we realized that we'd have to FJ through the snow to get to WalMart (which stated that they would not close at all) to pick up a few essentials. Like some canned goods, fresh fruit, and toilet paper. I didn't want to be unprepared there. After coming home with red hots and chocolates we settled in for a good time.

The snow didn't seem like much but the wind fiercely blew and created amazing drifts around our window, cars, trees and the tree limbs that had broken off. And in the midst of Skip opening the door every three minutes to check out the blizzard we saw a bright flash and heard a long loud rumble, thundersnow had arrived. Kind of awesome. Even better that we didn't really believe it, especially me, until I read in the paper that lightening struck the emergency center and all their equipment rendered useless for the storm.

By now you're wondering if I'm writing this from the grave. I am not. Other than the lightening and thunder our street and town missed any crazy happenings. In fact the next day Skip dug out our driveway in a record ten minutes while I built a lounge snowchair on our porch. Then we FJ'd down the road and through the foot of snow at a friend's house.

P.S. Illinois snow hurts. I dove into it and the ice felt like little blasts of glass embedded in my skin. Not the fluffy fun at the ski resorts.

Self Realizations

One of Skip's favorite jokes runs along the lines of German girls looking manly once they hit their thirties. Would be funny if A) he didn't always date German girls and B) if he hadn't married one. Since he did I find myself scrutinizing the mirror looking for manly characteristics, or Skip characteristics. Turns out we also laugh at couples who look alike.

Not just laugh, but we stare at couples, think of loved ones and find those with matching noses, ears, hairlines, eyes and eyebrows. Some of you should really consider plucking. Great game until late one night we stared at pictures to find our identical traits. Skip is attracted to my well defined chin (German much?) and I'm attracted to his large nose.

Upon review I conceded that while I am ultra feminine looking and he rugged and manly, our chins are similar in shape. But I decided that the nose attraction must be my inferiority complex about my crooked nose due to an eggtooth. Simply put--I wanted to be the pretty one and needed a man with a distinctive nose so mine looks cute by comparison.

Unfortunately Skip was in Vegas last week at Shot Show where Aimpoint handed out their new catalogue. A catalogue with a couple prominent photos of me. Photos of me in camo, only my face showing. My small adorable doll face with a Tom Cruise nose protruding into the sky, lengthened by the barrel of a gun.

It's going to be a long night.

Hiatus

Maybe you wonder where I've been. Where the witty words and silly stories disappeared to? They are lost in the ice of the Illinois River. I hope they land in my head, flow through my fingers and magically publish on my blog when the icebergs melt. Until then it's bleak skies and dreary days in the cold. I could tell you that my nose hairs froze walking to the car this afternoon. And I did.

Here's hoping life picks up...with exciting new adventures.

P.S. I imagined I'd be sharing snow shoeing and X-Country skiing stories and photos with you. Uh, you need more than a dusting of snow to do that!

Negligence

The words have stopped. They stutter from my mouth and only partially form in my head. It's as if the world truly ended once I turned 28. Or I've been lazy and busy traveling.

Maybe I should have made a New Year's Resolution to blog, but I find resolutions time consuming.

So with this new theme of negligence I thought I'd share with you an alarming fact: library closures. I recently read an article announcing a number of libraries closing their doors for good. I panicked until I looked at the map and realized these were all in the U.K.

The next day I happened to wander into my local library branch conveniently located 1.5 blocks from my home. I had some copies to make and hadn't taken the time to apply for a local library card. Why? Because I've been doing all my book check outs online and downloading to my eReader. I love it! Except the selection is limited. Some of the books on my bucket list have yet to reach the digital age.

There I stood cutting out and printing images, when an old lady hobbled up to the desk to declare that she had some books to donate. Then she looked around the empty room and asked where the patrons were.

"They must have gotten Kindles for Christmas," replied the librarian. "No one comes in anymore."

YIKES! I'm helping to end the era of libraries. I spent my youth summers riding my bike or walking to the Lamar Library. I'd check out the allotted number of books allowed and hole up in my room until the next week.

The New Year's Resolution for 2011? Check out books from the library monthly.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I know I know, why take a week to post a birthday review? Because at the end of Birthday Weekend, when the songs and salutations ended I broke down. Tears of age and I think some nonsensical babble about being old. Now some of you who have passed this milestone (every year is a milestone), you will smirk and sarcastically think it could be worse. Maybe it could, but it couldn't have been better. Before I freaked out I had a nearly perfect snowy celebration, and if I weren't so old I could have gone sledding, something I'd wished all 18 years in Lamar.

To start we visited the Pretty Part of Peoria uptown. This outdoor shopping mall is Utah.5 and makes me feel at home. It didn't hurt that I got to pick out all my birthday presents either. I'm a great shopper with other people's money.

On Saturday we recreated my youth. We had a pizza party! This excites me because there are two different chains that offer GF pizza. A treat that has failed when I tried making it myself. The toppings did not compare to my Grandma's colorful palate, but other than that it felt like home. After eating over half a pizza on my own I continued my glutenous state by visiting the second Pretty Part of Peoria, Peoria Heights, where the local shops held a Chocolate Walk in my honor. Every store had chocolate samples and I think the smile behind the owners said Happy Birthday! even if they were unaware.

We did hit one of my all-time favorite ridiculous speciality stores, Vino & Olio...or something similarly Italian. Anyway I'm standing between a line of gourmet flavored olive oils and balsamic vinegars. Only in Peoria. What I did learn is that you can mix Blood Orange olive oil with Chocolate balsamic and taste a chocolate orange. Or add the Vanilla and Pear with the Blood Orange and drink a tangy creamy cream soda. If you're wondering I spend some downtime playing with flavor mixing there. Just like alchemy.

Due to a snow storm the all-night dance contest was post-poned.

By the time I actually turned 28 I was snowed in and content. Well, almost. I may have requested that all my presents be wrapped with homemade bows. Ha Ha Ha Ha ahhahaha. Skip thought I was joking until I handed him the scissors and tape.

Not as horrible as expected, but 28 has a whole year to screw up or prove itself. Make that six months. I think 29 might need some prep time.

Happy December!

At a dinner with some new friends last week a serious toddler asked me where my children were. Instead of pointing to my husband I simply stated that I had none.

"Oh," she nodded and with a light British accent concluded, "you should go get some at the store."

Hmmm...apparently that whole Mommy-just-had-a-new-baby thing didn't catch on. Daniel, you had a similar request years ago. Maybe you could help her out.

  

While I decided not to take home any children I saw at the store, Skip did let me pick out some Christmas lights. And after acquiring tape and push pins we created a masterpiece. If anyone can guess what the white blob is I'll be impressed. (Think winter!)

 Completely fun and festive once I realized the music playing wasn't my Christmas selection so much as the yoga DVD root menu.

Next I will introduced the English Knowles to a little known thing: Wassail, a holiday treat from his Motherland.

Just Call Me Murphy

As in Murphy's Law where anything that can go wrong will. My previous post serves to foreshadow the following ten days. When the bank, insurance, whoever crazies didn't accept our signatures we should have taken it as a sign. We should have rethought, revised and determined a new plan of action. Unfortunately when both members of the couple lean towards impulsivity we just scribbled out new signatures and started unloading box after box.

First night: a Friday night, we spent hanging drapes. A, we couldn't find anything (cheap) to fully cover the front window. It now has two different style of drapes that match and clash at the same time. B, the rod for that same window had some extra parts. It's not supposed to, we just had to rig it a certain way so it worked.

Second day: Lost the keys to the FJ and the storage unit. Spent most of the day in a stupor trying to find them.

Day three: Pretty productive and the first night we slept in our new place. Lost the bed frame so we put it on the floor all classy like. Oh, and it's deadly cold outside (finally November weather as opposed to August) and NO HEAT!

Day four: After the heater is fixed it goes out again in the middle of the night. I wake up with snotcicles. We drill through tile to install a fancy shower curtain. The drill bit lasts for approximately 2.5 holes. We had four. The sales personnel at Menards knows us by name.

Day five: Heater guy comes and says he can't fix the heater, but at least it randomly turned on again. Laundry room floods.

Day six: Kitchen sinks backed up and leaking. Dishwasher takes two runs to dissolve soap. Always.

Day seven: Internet goes out. I reprogram, reset, reassemble multiple times. A wire with a short leads to a long and complicated customer service phone call in which the guy never answers my only question: "Do I have to reinstall everything in a certain order?" We do go through the entire process with me telling him, "Dude there's a short in my power cord, it's not going to change anything!"

Day eight: The cable wire for our Internet goes out....seriously?! I asked dude to check on that last night.

Day nine: Trying to install a garbage disposal. With multiple saws, drills and trips for hardware I don't imagine they'll get to plumbing the fridge.

Tomorrow will be day ten. I plan to wrap up in a blanket and have a good cry.