Grave Intrusions

With the workday winding down I jumped into my weekend listening to a tales from the crypt story. My boss jokingly explained that he didn’t want to go to heaven. Sounded odd so I took the bait, why the avoidance of heaven? At first I thought it was a reference to a hatred of cold weather and he wanted an eternal heater. I’ve thought that when the temperatures drop.My boss told me that he thinks someone will be waiting for him on the other side, waiting with fury.

A few years ago the company I work for contracted to do ground work for a construction project downtown. Problems arose and they needed a way to keep the soil in place. So my boss proposed doing soil nail work. This was incredible for two reasons: soil nail had not been done in Utah before and a prominent historical and religious figure lay below ground next door.

The grave fit snugly into the right angle precisely where the steel nails were to be drilled as anchors. The drilling commenced and the project was successfully completed. Months later my boss received a call verifying his participation in the soil nailing. When he affirmed his role he was asked to meet at the church office building, on the 28th floor.

Arriving at the building my boss entered the elevator only to notice the missing button for his floor and the two below. He inquired someone at the reception desk and was told to take the elevator to the 25th floor. He could then get off and walk around the shaft where he would see another elevator. That elevator would take him to the 28th floor.

Doing as told he found the 28th floor. The elevator doors opened to a desk and with an inquisitive woman behind it. The words framing her read Church Security. Promptly the head of security came to meet my boss, shoulder holster in place and handcuffs hanging from back pocket. He escorted my boss to a room where another security officer met them. Then the interrogation began.

What happened when the nails hit steel? Concrete? Could the driller feel if a void was hit? My boss answered perplexed. Then he caught on.

“You want to know if I drilled a hole through the grave?” he asked in awe. He'd been hoping for another project.

“The question has been asked,” replied the officer.

The tomb was made of limestone, braced by steel belts and encased with concrete. And the ground was built up around the grave years later. It seems like it should have be noticeable. As no one knew what depth the grave was, my boss was uncertain to answer yes or no.

“My first hole was drilled in at eight feet. If that’s where the grave is buried then there’s a chance we drilled through it,” he stated.

As far as I know there was no reprimand but maybe a few dirty looks. This Halloween I might make the rounds by the old cemetery. Maybe I’ll see a ghost with a freshly drilled hole in his head…