I’ve been laughing for the past half hour. The unfortunate part—the resulting tears stung the raw sunburned corner of my left eye. But the mocking is worth the pain. Over a year ago while living abroad, I thought it would be a great idea to kick start my creative writing career with a daily blog, a little practice for an amateur. So I did. Blogged once, deleted it. Reformatted and blogged again and again and again. Literally there are three posts from 2007. Let me explain why…
I’ve noticed that I’m a creature of association. Every song conjures up a forgotten vivid memory from years past. Foods, shops, activities and even friends drift in and out of my life seasonally. So when a year has lapsed I find myself wanting those same comforts. In the summer heat I want to the freedom to be bikini naked on a sand court. In fall I want an entire new school wardrobe and new friends. In winter I retreat to my blankets and in spring I wake up thinking about running. Lame and predictable, but what I didn’t predict was the repeat desire to start a blog.
After the trauma and excitement of being Stateside I completely forgot about my attempted blogging. Fast forward to April 08 and I entered my own version of Groundhog’s Day. I wanted to blog about everything, my love affair, my failing company, going back to school, cars, friends, eating disorders, pets—half that stuff I don’t even have. But my opinionated self was willing to share anyway. What stopped me was a dear friends’ blog. A couple I know had started a blog a month or two before and I was on the weekly update plan. I would check out what they’d done and think about things I could be blogging. Then I’d feel foolish and easily influenced so I’d move on to lunch.
Imagine my surprise when I found myself with weeks of unmanaged time and the gnawing need for a blog. Then I remembered what I’d been doing last year. OMG! I have a blog. Forgotten and I hoped (unsuccessfully) deleted. When I logged in just to check if the account was still activated I started giggling. There was my blog, with two more posts than I thought.
So now I just have to decide. Do I keep it up in lemming fashion or do I publish this and lock away the memory for next year’s moments of unemployment? I think I’ll wait to see how I feel after tomorrow’s dramatic remembrance.