Wednesday, April 2, 2014


I have officially entered the parenting phase where your "child's" behavior causes your cheeks to flame red in public. I mean, sure, I've been the parent pushing the out of control toddler in the shopping cart. I've had green goo in my hair, on my bum, and strategically placed on my shirt. My career choice prepared me for that much. In fact if she tries a full-scale meltdown I'll be able to turn it into a teaching moment for bystanders (I should probably get business cards).

So the embarrassment comes from potty training. Specifically potty-training at a restaurant on girl's night out. The GNO where you are the one mom who brings her child. And that child pees, multiple times. On you. It's a good thing she's cute and that she has a cute bum.

Because while I had tucked an extra set of clothing in my purse, (honestly I could not take a diaper bag to girls night) I did not pack clothes for myself. There were two options to my freshly wet outfit. We could freeze in wet clothes on the drive home. Or we could take the opportunity of the moments we had between ordering and the presentation of the food to wash and dry our clothes in the bathroom. I think you can guess what I chose.

Pippa's naked bum darting about the restroom seemed so natural that soon I had also stripped down. Amazingly enough, I was shocked that some stranger would enter to see this scene. The humiliation isn't so much about our nudity as it is that I have apparently lost all sense of decency.

It may be time for an intervention.