Swim Caps Compulsory

Learning to swim I had one flaw—moving in a straight path. Superman style, back float, breast stroke, even bobbing I deterred. It didn’t matter because I soon gave up swimming for lying on a towel chatting with a girlfriend. My apologies to anyone who thought higher of me but for a good ten years I spent summers achieving the perfect tan. Now the thoughts of wrinkles and cancer push me back to the act of swimming, indoors away from harm.

Harm from the sun not from crazy Boy Scouts. Actually they didn’t inflict any physical harm other than the growing hunger pangs I endured while waiting for them to finish their swim tests. One lane opened and I jumped in ready for embarrassment. Good thing as it came shortly. While thinking straight thoughts in a stroke, stroke, breathe pattern I gained a fan. Not the Boy Scout you assume but a peer who spent his youth on the swim team.

He wanted to share my lane. Of course I accepted his offer and agreed to split the lane. Except that he held his breath twice as long as me, ok longer but it pains me to confess. He glided through the water gracefully and I tensed up with the knowledge that at some point I would whack him with some part of my body.

In my Europe days I learned all about wearing swim caps and goggles protect my enhanced eyes so from the neck up I looked legit. I caved under pressure and swam worse and worse eventually causing my asthma to flare up. Choking and sputtering I gripped the wall in the deep end. My eyes widen with horror as I felt an old feeling in my toes. A cramp of the my-toes-look-sick-and-crippled variety. I easily hid the deformity by placing my foot against the wall and pushing hard. Too hard as I lost my grip and flailed. My lane partner flipped under water and began his beautiful butterfly stroke.

Back at the safe end with feet touching I explained that I would take the now free lane to our left. He looked puzzled, as if he wanted to tell me to stop swimming or stay in his lane in case he had to save me. Then he offered to go to the other lane (it was beside the wall). I shook my head and ducked under the divider forcing myself to swim for an additional fifteen minutes.

He could have offered to give me back my dignity.