Cat Nipped

Glancing at the sauce ring on my plate, I thought I knew what happened. I'd excused myself to the bathroom and by my return my steak had disappeared. Skip's smile seemed a little more smiley—he’d theifed it.

"You stole my steak!" I exclaimed.

"No I didn't," he answered.

"Then where is it? I didn't eat it, and it no longer sits on my plate," I said. Not that I really minded, but I did find it funny that he'd take it. On the last night of our over-the-top honeymoon, our hotel treated us to a four-course dinner. They tried their best to smooze and delight us. We got stares from other guests trying to figure out who we were. We were the representatives of a luxury magazine.

Skip managed to work magic and get us a penthouse suite, dinners at the top restaurants on the island, spa treatments and a scuba diving tour. So while we honeymooned he worked a little, which translates to people falling all over themselves so we'd be pleased.

Unfortunately the steaks failed every time. Skip ordered off the menu one night and got an over cooked slab. Now at our fancy special dinner my steak had been swiped, and not by the obvious suspect.

"I saw a flicker of movement while you were gone," he mentioned.

"A flicker of movement? As in a ghost? Voo-DOOO?" I smirked. He really thought I'd fall for something so lame?

I was about to reply with more sassy, smart-mouthed retorts when I saw the sauce trail. It jumped from the perfect circle on my plate to drips along the low courtyard wall. Leaning over I saw a grey cat. The third I'd seen that night, a brown cat had been sneaking around earlier and a black cat meowed at my every meal. GRRRR...I squinted at it chomping away on the last quarter of my filet mignon.

Luckily we'd just watched a vampire movie where the cats attacked people who'd been bitten. Picture 20 cats hissing and biting and licking a standing woman. Or the old Batman, where Michelle Pfeiffer falls out the window and the cats revive her. It was creepy like that, that rangy grey cat giving me the evil eye while it finished my dinner.

The managers were beside themselves, explaining that they carted off cats every week and more just showed up. I guess that means their vampires are under control.