Life on Two Heels

"Sorry to interrupt your walk!"

Walk?! Walk?!! OK, by that time my small getting-back-into-life trail run had turned into an epic adventure disguised as a leisurely meadow stroll. I'd planned on a mostly downhill jaunt, a reprieve for my lungs complete with fresh mountain air. I'd expected to feel more Sound Of Music as I ran through the meadows and maybe even Twilightish while dodging trees.

It did feel like that for the first mile, and then my not-so-common sense turned on. Something didn't feel right and it was just the pressure growing in my bladder. This was a feeling of you've gone the wrong way. Normally I would've stopped right then and there but I'd been told specifically to stick to the Mid-Mountain trail until I hooked up with Holly's. And so I did.

Another reason I brushed off the oh-so-wrong feeling, apart from the cluttered mind wrestling with life altering decisions, was the phrase 'you remember going all the way down with me.' And I did. I could picture it clearly. There we were in snow gear strapped into a board, he charging the mountain and me trying to dodge suspicious looking mounds. I'd gone that same direction when getting off the lift, and of course it looked different. There were trees and flowers instead of icicles.

At about mile 3 I no longer denied the icky feeling. Besides I could see the resort clearly from my perch and if continued on this path I'd soon be in Park City. Not good. Plus I realized that I'd been remembering the wrong mountain. So I turned around and stumbled back to the lodge and on to the correct path. Once there the run became less about running and more about spotting deer as the bounced in front of me. I don't know if it was the shock of seeing an exhausted looking ruffian in their home or if it was the stench emitting from my body, but they stared me down. I want to tell you that I ran on but I accepted the challenge and stared right back. OK I couldn't really run because the lungs were shutting down, noted by the sharp pain in my chest. Maybe they could sense that and the stare was one of horror and concern. I choose to believe that.

After the deer things were pretty tame. A couple fuzzy bees mistook me for a flower (oblivious to my stench I suppose) and tried to stick me. Or maybe they were gently pulling me along, realizing that dehydration was creeping in. They did usher me right to a stream and although I didn't drink from it the thought played in my mind like a Christmas memory.

I finally reached Holly's Trail with a group of mountain bikers behind me. I stepped off the trail to let them pass. They declined explaining that they had to wait for everyone in the group. I nodded as if that were the most natural thing and took off down the trail. My excitement at finally finding Holly's and the general pull of gravity picked up my pace. I did feel a little vampirish or at least more human now that my legs found something more than the slow crawl. And it lasted for nearly half the mountain at which point I fell to sub-human. The bikers caught up to me and zoomed by on two wheels. I cursed my blistered feet and erratic breathing.

The last of the group passed me, and in true Snow White fashion I stooped to complain to the last of my woodland creature friends, a furry caterpillar.