Hoodwinked

Who doesn't love a good internet scam? The girl who spends her entire day caught in the interweb of deceit.

Skip gave me his old Mac to use when my Sony became slug-like and lost sound and video capabilities. Now four months later, I am unable to open a browser on Safari. Not a big deal except I work from home (online) and am enrolled in a master's program (online).

So I tried updates, reboots, some powering down time for the MacBook. When I failed as a tech genius I called Apple for back up. Soon I was talking to tech support, who told me they could fix my computer with remote access, for a fee of course. Somewhere in the back of my mind, the sane voice whispered "no" while my outdoor voice said "yes". Within moments I connected to a techy who stumbled through the same steps I had.

I kept explaining that I had already done this and that. Then I problemed solved on my own for a bit and got further then the supposed geek on the phone. By now I was regretting my outdoor voice, but I also thought I was in the hands of an Apple pro and was willing to listen. Then he told me to run a hard drive scan and he'd call me back in 30 min. An hour later, after solving a couple other crises, I decided to call him back with the "direct" number I'd been given. (Yeah, laugh people. I know how it sounds. I too was suspicious.)

A new techy answered and I explained in agonizing detail what was happening. He too was at a loss and had me reboot and try again. Frankly, the computer could be malfunctioning due to the thousands of reboots they had me do. No luck, and the parting wisdom was, "You're going to have to clear everything and reinstall the system with the discs from your original purchase."

Ahhh...right. I'll just grab those out of my pocket. But at least the techy told me I could go to Apple and repurchase the system. wow.

So I hung up. Thought about the cash monies I spent to have someone tell me to go repurchase my computer and thought, "Self, you've been duped."

Then I called Apple (mind you I just hit redial from a few hours previous). Talked to an Apple customer service rep who tells me that he cannot issue a refund because there is no such tech support.

"We don't have a plan similar to what you're describing."

Apple apparently doesn't charge people for calling with questions, which is what my gut was telling me all along.

And the final zing: my MacBook system is too old for Apple to offer support/protection (at this point we were talking riddles to each other).

So back to the scam artists. I took the necessary precautions with my credit card, refusing payment, canceling card, etc. My credit card company finds the charge under a "legit" tech support company and gives me the phone number. Armed with new information I call and demand my refund.

They would gladly give me a refund, says the ebonics-speaking "helper" who answers my call, but I'd be charged for speaking with a technician. Riiiiiight, who was the technician? The 15-year-old who told me to figure out how to get online so he could help me, or the guy who told me to go to Apple to repurchase my computer software?

A lively back and forth debate ensued during which I was asked if I thought I could return food that I had purchased from the grocery store after I decided I didn't want it.

Yes, I responded, actually I can, especially if it's expired, or an empty cereal box, or has a toe in it, all of which applied to this situation. You see, they offered me the product of remote access to fix my computer. They could not get remote access. I purchased a non-existent product (the empty cereal box).

As I laid out my ace, and she had no retort, she gave in. I had won. And then there was silence. Followed by a reluctant acknowledgement that she could not deny I was right. My refund will be applied toward my new computer.